DO THE MATH

Hillbillies has a ‘vantage when it comes t’ ‘rithmatic, cuz they most generally can count double whut city fellers can, seein’s how they’s unencumbered by shoes. That there is how come this ol’ hillbilly decided t’ major in mathematics when he went t’ college way back in th’ Kennedy years. Even earned a livin’ doin thet sorta thing fer a while. I loved programatin’ compooters – that uz before a feller c’d go inta the office store an’ buy ‘is programs ready made up jus’ like them froze biskits at the sooper market.
So I thought how as I’d apply all that eddicashun t’ solvin’ this here eeconomical crisis. It all started with me rememberin’ th’ ol’ hillbilly joke ‘bout the city feller what stopped by the field where a farmer wuz plowin up th’ ground behind a ol’ mule. City feller sez, “say ploughboy, how far is it to Little Rock?” Farmer feller he looks this dude up an’ down real good, points down the road an’ sez, “’bought forty lengths of a fool – whyn’cha lay down an’ measure it?”
So that got me t’ thinkin’ ‘bout the length of a fool an’ I scrambled ‘round an’ found out that the average congress person is a hunnert an’ sebenty five sinner meters – I tried t’ do th’ conversion, but even with the he’p of a raft a good preachers we couldn’ bring ‘er about.
Anyhow, I ain’t fer sure how fur we are from getting’ t’ the end a this mess but if my math’s right, we could lay out them 435 congress persons end unto end an’ be a lot closer to a solution.